Have you ever heard God’s voice and wondered if you were really hearing from Him? He may be just trying to tell you something very important. Maybe it’s in a soft breeze, or maybe it’s just a whisper in your heart. Slow down, be quiet and listen.
My mom was dying of cancer, and my big question was the usual one, "Why God, why my mom?" Then it got worse when she pass away, because she also left her first beautiful granddaughter who was only seven months old. I couldn’t comprehend why. As time passed, I would wake up in the night, walking, praying, seeking, but no answer came. I finally came to this decision: if my mother were in heaven, she would hear and answer me, because she was always there for me. No answers, never answers. I prayed every night, woke to sleeplessness calling to her. Nothing. So, my decision was clear to me. If my mother wasn’t answering me, she wasn’t in heaven. If she wasn’t in heaven, there was no heaven. If there wasn’t a heaven—then there was no God. I turned my back on Him, and for many years.
But, here’s where the miracle started, and I didn’t even know it. When my third child became involved in horseback riding, I kept a journal, and I wrote about all those experiences. I wrote a manuscript and I named my book, Struck by Lightning, Lightning being the name of my daughter’s first horse. Oh, and that manuscript kicked around for many, many years. It got lost, and I would find it and re-read and edit it. Then, it would get lost again. Once it was finally complete, I gave a copy to my father-in-law to read. The manuscript was written on an old electric typewriter, before computers, so there was only one original and one copy. I lost the original again. Now my children are all grown up, and I have a beautiful granddaughter. And I have found God again. He came to me at a healing event, and poured down His love. I knew then that my life would never be the same, and even though I had deserted Him He had never deserted me.
The day I went with my sister and friends to the healing, we were going to support our friend who was confined to a wheelchair. She wanted to walk down the aisle on her wedding day and dance with her dad at the reception. That was the miracle that she was seeking. We had purchased tickets to defray the cost of the hotel reception room where it was being held. My sister and I had purchased two tickets each, one for us, one for our husbands. As it turned out, our husbands did not want to attend, so we had two extra tickets. When we arrived, my sister was anxious to get a good seat, and I was too. But, this overwhelming feeling came over me and I said, "We need to give away our two extra tickets.""Yes," my sister said, "But, let’s find our seats first. "No. We need to give away our two tickets." Now, if you knew me, you would realize that was completely out of character for me, because I am easy going and always go along with others and their suggestions. I turned quickly behind me, and there was a mother with her teenage daughter in a wheelchair. They were waiting in line to purchase tickets and I gave them our two extra ones. When I turned away (with a contented feeling now) I said very quietly, "That girl will be cured today."
Once the service started, it lasted a long time and I was beginning to get fidgety. Then we started singing praise and worship and the leader said, "Stand up and raise your arms. "Oh, great," I whispered to my sister. "Oh, great. I hate standing, and my arms get so tired raising them up like this." Then it happened. I felt God’s Presence like never before. I couldn’t raise my arms high enough. I kept reaching, trying to reach God with my arms and my heart. And, tears, cleansing tears, were streaming down my face. I was feeling God’s love! After that the healing began, and that little teenager got out of her wheelchair and walked. There was a serene smile on her face and she continued walking, walking. Her hands and feet were all turned inward and it was apparent to everyone that we had witnessed a miracle. The healer approached my friend, and we saw her shake her head no. We were behind her, as all the people in wheelchairs were sitting up front, Our friend, Missy, was sitting right next to "my little miracle girl". Missy was told that she had never left her chair in five years. Our dear friend had said no because the healer asked if she wanted to be healed. Her answer had been, "No, I am who I am, and I accept that for me. I want to walk down the aisle and dance with my dad on my wedding day!" And, that is another story, but there were many tears on that day when she walked down the aisle. And, I have a photo of her with her walker pushed aside as she danced with her dad!
So now back to the original story. I kept thinking about that manuscript Struck by Lightning, but I could never find it again. I wanted to find it, so that I could pass it down to my granddaughter. About two years ago, my father-in-law passed away. Going through his most important papers as we packed up his apartment,tucked in a special box lovingly, was the manuscript. All was saved. I took it home, and put it away in a safe place this time.
I’m not sure about other authors, but I can tell you, that I have little confidence in my words. They are beautiful words, well put together—my little book tells a story about courage and following ones dreams. My book does not mention Jesus or God, although you will find that at the beginning in the dedication, and on the back cover. Yes, He is at the beginning and at the end. You can, however, read between the lines and find Him—coincidences, that were never coincidences, family values, love and hope.Although God told me that no one in the world would ever put words together the same way, I still doubted myself. I am a humble writer, and I decided that looking back, I needed to do one thing—I needed to give God the credit for those words.
The manuscript, now in it's special place remained there a little longer still. was tenderly tucked away again, but I kept hearing that little Voice. I call that Voice God. He was telling me, "You need to send that book to a publisher." I would ignore that Voice for quite some time. Still, it kept coming, over and over. Finally, I say in prayer, "All right, Father God, all right. I will sent it to a publisher." I still did not believe in my special words or the fact that God was speaking to me. I went to the Internet and put in a search for publishers. The first one that I found, I followed the information and sent the manuscript to them. Another miracle. The Acquisition Director called me personally from Tate Publishing. It was then that I discovered I had sent the book to a Christian Publishing Company. They accept only 4% of all the manuscripts that they receive. And, they wanted to publish my book.
Struck by Lightning will probably never be an amazing seller, but my hope is that Father God will put it in all of the right hands. And, yes I believe—today I believe that He will do awesome things through that simple little book. He is showing me something else right now. He is leading me to bookstores and libraries and showing me the children’s books that are on display. These books are about spirits, and devils and dragons, and once again He is encouraging me that my humble, simple book, in some small way will make a difference in this world.
As a Christian, I now give all of the praise and glory for this first novel to Father God, who has indeed given me all of the words. And, God Bless You All!
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7/20/08
by Joni Perkins, Author
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